PSA: Accepting compliments
In an era when it is common practice to share pictures of oneself via text, email, and all over the internet (as I do), compliments are readily given. Love! They are wonderful, affirming little gems. I happen to be a one-woman compliment dishing factory, as I simply cannot/will not keep loving thoughts to myself.
Receiving compliments comes less naturally. I’m no doctoral candidate in psychology (joke! I totally am and just bragged about it), but this seems to be a culturally-driven phenomenon.
However, it is a skill that must be learned if you give a shit about the person taking time to share their observations. It’s rude to go to bat with a person who is being kind. Upon your rebuttal, they are forced to argue their position and positively insist upon your good qualities. That is a burden to them and a toxic energy source. It is not a cute feature!
I’ll illustrate with an example:
You: Oh my soul, look at your face! Divinity!
Friend: Ewwww I am a hideous beast.
What you may be thinking v. 1: Are you calling me a liar?
What you may be thinking v. 2: Time to begrudgingly shell out some compliments to make this poor sap feel better, ugh.
What you may be thinking v. 3: That’s the last time I compliment you.
What you may be thinking v. 4: I am currently experiencing feelings of resentment.
Stop denying what other people see in you. You don’t have to agree but don’t be an asshole. Let people have their opinions. Practice these words: Thank you. I appreciate that. So nice of you to say. That’s really sweet. If you honestly believe you can’t muster the words, cut the theatrics – those are better reserved for another time! You have obviously told a lie or two in your life and probably with ease at times. This is no different :)
Moreover, it is obviously not kind to yourself to reject caring words. Think for a moment about how awful that is :( Let yourself receive the gift of positivity. Tuck the sentiment into your heart and retrieve it readily. How can you not be joyful when someone sees the good in you? That is a beautiful thing. Love and respect for yourself is an absolutely crucial component of your health. It brings radiance and peace and makes it possible for you to give that (genuinely) to others.
In essence:
Thanks to Devan for this quote, and to Heather for drawing it for me in my favorite colors :)
Tabata timer app
I continue to geek out on Tabata workouts. There is something so AWESOME about doing the hard stuff, feeling like death, and then walking it off in the neighborhood. A few days ago, I got the brilliant idea to search for a Tabata iPhone app. Naturally there were several to choose from, so I downloaded one that featured attractive, well-muscled arms in the background.
The timer is a nice alternative to Rob timing me because to be honest he can be kind of shitty (just in general). Yes, we are in love and he is extremely attractive and has great qualities, but there is NO denying he is also a dick. I italicize that word – which I occasionally say aloud, but never type – because it really and truly captures my husband. I happen to know he would agree and so would all of his work colleagues #carsalesman
So, the app! It can be found here and is currently free to download. It’s very easy to use.
The big reward for four heinous minutes is the derpy figure pictured above :) That’s definitely good enough for me, although I wish this gender ambiguous creature would step it up in the looks department.
Hats
My shopping philosophy is very infantile: impulsive, unplanned, and driven by desire. Not at all practical. If I see something that makes me smile, I purchase it. Whatever executive functioning abilities remain intact go completely dormant and I think this is actually my strong suit.
My advice is not to worry too much if an item is “you” or if it aligns with your collection. It is you if you purchase it, put it on, and sell the garment :)
I have big plans for a series (ooh!) on Hi Pies. My plan is to share different categories of things I wear and why. I will begin with hats!
These are the hats I wear most often.
Why hat: They are fun, cover dirty hairs, add interest to a plain outfit, and distract/enhance a lackluster face.
Caps can be tilted – fun! The type of hat can really work your face shape in beautiful ways. (Long) hair can be pulled into a low knot or bun, pigtails, braid/fishtail, a massive teased mess. I like to position my hair off center if I’m tying it back. Hats also looks genius with hair of any texture (wave, straight, curled).
Hats have saved me countless times and fooled people into thinking I’m fashionable (I think). It’s such a lazy solution :) and a total no-brainer.
Next installment: shades! Hope you all enjoy :)
P.S. It is totally bizarro town to to be providing information like this because I’m actually self-conscious about acting like I know things.
Gray nails
Hi pies :) Today I had a manicure and opted for this slate color.
It’s love. Watching my fingers on the keyboard today has been a wonder.
I feel extremely sophisticated.
Seriously TGIF
Hooray!
I’ll have you know I broke out the gin (one ounce, precisely measured, but still!) at 5:00. Bzzz
My plans for the evening include walking, pulling weeds in the heat, cooking dinner, snugs with my handsome, and passing out with a book on my face :) Have a great weekend all! xo
Four minute (Tabata) workout
My exercise philosophy is:
Exercise daily, or endure difficulty sleeping, anxious feelings, listlessness, and guilt.
Being active is very important for my mental health so I rarely miss a day. Today was one of those days where I just didn’t have a lot of opportunity to engage in focused exercise. I opted to do my computer work standing and threw in the odd jump squat and push up as the time passed. Then I thought, hey, why not do a Tabata workout too? I’ve done a few and they weren’t so bad! My memory is terrible btw.
In case you’ve not heard (which you probably have – I’m way late to the Tabata game), a Tabata workout is four minutes of intensely stupid bullshit. The basic concept is to do 20-second intervals of something (e.g., sprints, burpees, jumping jacks) as hard as you can, then rest for 10 seconds, and repeat until 4 minutes have elapsed.
I wanted to do sprints tonight because I had Rob around to time me and later photograph me.
Post-Tabata hatred of life face
And vogueing upon realization that Rob was using my mobile device/timer to take a photo
In four minutes, my heart rate went up over 100 bpm. Fistbump!
Even though it’s not fun, I think Tabata is a good practice overall. In my case, it’s better to do in the presence of another person to increase the competitive edge. How social psych of me to say!
Small diet deviation
Free Cinnabon at work today…
No joke, I cut the biggest bun out of the box and stowed it away just for me. Greediest bitch in the Plains!
Shown in a bowl, on my lap, for scale.
My mother-in-law
My mother-in-law, Mary, died on November 24, 1996. She was a waitress at Tillamook Ice Creamery Restaurant in Portland and had a heart attack at work. This was about five years before Rob and I met. When Rob received this news, he literally fled the scene :( He didn’t speak with his family for years.
Mary was a single mom and devoted her life to raising her son and later, her nephew. She had a lot of barriers to overcome. Rob had behavioral problems that were difficult to manage. He was exposed to a lot of things in life that were impossible for a child to handle. This might have been easier on him if his dad was a part of his life, but he wasn’t.
I’ve been fortunate to learn about Mary from her sister, Paulette :) Listening to her and Rob talk about Mary gives me a more tangible picture of the woman she was. I love Paulette (“Auntie P”) and consider her my mother-in-law. She and Rob reconnected several years after we started dating, and what a gift that has been in our lives!
Over the years, Rob has been kind enough to share with me some of his thoughts and feelings about his mom. It has been pretty phenomenal to watch him make sense of things. He has come to believe her death was a sacrifice – it enabled her troubled, out of control, obstinate son to create a better life for himself. Rob believes her death brought us together and provided him with another family :)
We like to think Mary would agree with this sentiment. I am forever grateful for her sacrifices. She raised an incredible son: my partner of eleven years, my best friend forever, the love of my life <;3
Goat milk butter huzzah!
Rob and I have been on a fancy butter kick! A major step forward, considering my historical dependence on butter spray.
We just finished up the last of some seasonal pasture butter. La di da, right? The come-down from that experience left me wanting more. Energized and lacking my usual dietary fear restraint groove, I purchased some Meyenberg goat milk butter last week.
European style! Always a selling point for me personally #WOT
I tried it last night on a pile of Miracle Noodles (boing!). The first thing I noticed was the color:
See how white it is? Pure as snow! Virginal, and therefore sexy.
As for the taste, it was absolutely amazing. Tangy like goat cheese. I plan to eat it daily.
Crunchy creamy dessert bowl
I love dessert and eat it every night :) This is my favorite combination as of the past month:
- 1/2 cup Fage 2%
- 1/2 cup pumpkin puree
- 1 T chia seeds
- Crushed up nuts (the Planters macadamia, almond, cashew is my favorite! Brazil nuts are second favorite)
- Apple pie spice
- Cinnamon
- EZ Sweetz drops
- Perhaps a splash of sugar free Torani pumpkin pie syrup
Very much worth the 400 calorie (rounded up) price tag :) I only recently switched to Fage 2% after years on 0% and I will never look back.
Who can resist creamy + crunchy. I ask you!
Unrelated: thank you for your well wishes! I feel totally better, praise! Plus our house sold and our President is the man!
#DOLOVE
Hope your day was equally gorgeous :) xo Erin
